This was absolutely the worst home sale/purchase I can imagine, short of not being able to complete the sale in the first place.

I don’t even know where to start with this story except to say that it all went by so fast that I didn’t even have time to take pictures. So, the above picture is just me and Jon taking a selfie in the new house’s bathroom mirror several days ago.

First of all, we got an offer within a couple of weeks of listing the house. We had five showings the night we listed it. I guess that’s what happens when your house is one of the more affordable ones in an increasingly expensive area.

But then that offer fell through. Not because of the house, but I think the seller couldn’t secure the funding. So yeah, we became one of those outliers. Apparently only around 10% of home sales don’t close, and we got lucky. Yaaay. Since this also happened back with the Provo house on our first offer, I feel like we’re just deeply unlucky.

We relisted it, and then we got a second offer on the house fairly quickly. The only thing I knew about the buyers is that they were using some mortgage company that their friend recommended, and that mortgage company is apparently incompetent. It’s been an absolute nightmare.

The buyer was ready to go more than a week ago, when the lender sprung a final form of verification to qualify for the loan on them at literally the last moment. (They had three weeks to prepare, and didn’t.)

But that might as well have happened, because the city of Eagle Mountain hadn’t installed our gas meter and that meant we couldn’t move in. The rest of the house is finished and just waiting for us to live there, but the city hadn’t gotten around to it.

Last week we showed up at the title company to settle on our home sale, and the paperwork hadn’t shown up yet, so we were sent away.

We got to the title company to sign settlement paperwork on our new house (not a guarantee we can move in, we’d still be waiting for funding) and it turned out their computer systems were down, and they couldn’t print out the paperwork for us.

We didn’t get funding on time because our buyer was supposed to sign off last Friday, but the UPS guy who was supposed to deliver to them couldn’t find the address. So they gave up. All weekend.

We’ve had to reschedule furniture deliveries three times, cancel movers twice, cancel friends who were helping us move a couple more times, and we both have missed days of work trying to plan and prep. We’re living out of boxes and the situation is just laughable at this point.

But finally on August 2, the stars aligned and a bunch of people took pity on us. The buyers, who turned out to be a group of unrelated military guys who wanted to live there together, moved us out themselves. They had been living out of moving trucks for a few days and were absolutely desperate to get into an actual house and shower. So I told them “I have no problem letting you guys move in today, but you literally have to carry my stuff out to our moving truck.” I was surprised when they immediately said yes. And then a team of strong young men came over and hauled all our stuff out to the curb.

Similarly, we were literally given keys to the house before funding happened because everyone just couldn’t take it anymore.

Luckily some friends, who also live in Silverlake, were available to help us move into our new house. And it all worked out just barely in time for us to go to a musical that night. (We bought the tickets weeks ago, thinking we’d long since be in the house. Oops.)

Anyway, we made it! Now we just get to look forward to unpacking all this stuff some time in the future, but definitely not now.

Before THAT,